The healing journey- How chronic pain became my super power.
I was nearly born spina bifida. This meant I had only a mild spinal malformation as opposed to a severe one. However, by 13 years of age, I was nearly quadriplegic- my spine twisted and stacked like a staircase, severe shooting pains throughout my body. One bad fall would have devastated my life. According to the doctors however, with just one reconstructive spinal surgery, I would be able to lead a normal life. What constitutes “normal”?
Until just 10 years ago, “normal” meant enduring repeated cycles of chronic debilitating physical, mental and emotional pain. Having had to take leave from every job I ever held, restart my degree numerous times, and raise my daughter with a back brace and walker, I have been as far down the rabbit hole and back as one can go in terms of suffering from and recovering from chronic pain.
The first surgery at 13 years old secured my vertebrae in place, but failed to relieve my suffering. Courageously, at age 15, I requested and attempted a second surgery but gained little relief. Two rods and six titanium screws later, we had done all we could to put humpty dumpty together again. Many joked that despite my pain, and as my bone continued to fuse, I may one day grow to become the bionic woman! In a sense they would prove to be right! But it would take years of re-building my inner and outer confidence, strength and trust that the universe literally had my back and wished me well.
If you, my dear reader can relate, you know how the experience of chronic pain is a traumatic one, and leads to extreme mental drain. It is accompanied by an emotionally crippling sense of isolation – “the usual”, “poor me”, “what’s the point in attaching to anything as I will just have to give it up” line of thinking, that endless trauma related triggers and constant pain management only perpetuate. Without proper knowledge of the mind-body connection, spiritual guidance and the practice of self-care and meditation, these cycles can be devastating.
Astoundingly, these painful life experiences are also opportunities for us to connect to our inner most being and let go of the traumas holding us back on a much deeper level. Our pain is a sign, a guide, a wise teacher, asking us to pay attention to the direction in which we are heading. Pain invites us to sit in stillness, accept our limitations, let go of toxic emotions clouding our energy bodies and discover hidden truths. Truths which ultimately, lead to hidden strength’s and abilities- our diverse abilities. Our Superpowers!
This is the journey my friends. This is where I have been, continually return, and where all our paths lead! Through our own individual trials and tribulations, and with great acceptance and courage, we find the road to self-healing, self-actualization and fulfillment. In accepting this challenge, we are accepting the call and discovering how and why our unique knowledge, experience and skill can be of service to others. In sharing my story, and in helping you share yours’, my hope is that I may facilitate your path to self discovery and together we will lay a foundation upon which new heights of awareness will be built.
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